This damn election is different than anything I’ve ever seen. This one really has me worried. Most of the time all I think about is how to fight them and how to win. As some of you already know, I work every day, 12-13 hours a day, seven days a week on this, and I haven’t lost heart yet. But those numbers today really upset me, and I admit it.
If I have seemed especially edgy, irritable or erratic over these past few days it's because I am. One day I write about Obama's most important statement in the entire debate, and the next day I write about how the debates don't even matter. Erratic behavior. But not inexplicable.
I live in the belly of the beast, in Massachusetts. All I see when I walk out my door are Obama yard signs. This quaint little town of mine is saturated with them. The other day I saw a McCain sign in someones yard and I almost drove off the road. I said somewhere that seeing these pernicious Obama yard signs are almost as upsetting to me as seeing Hitler yard signs. Now, I know that's an exaggeration, but it's not that far off. I'm just dumbfounded at the direction this country is taking, and I feel powerless to stop it. Sometimes I feel more powerless than others. And this morning, when I first saw those incredible poll figures, with Obama's approval rating among American voters at 57%, it really hit me hard and I started feeling powerless again.
Like so many of you out there, I am heavily invested in this fateful election. Emotionally invested, to a degree which even I didn't appreciate until this morning. I am fighting to maintain my equilibrium, fighting against that pervasive sense of dread. When I hear my neighbors talk glowingly about BHO, or I see one of those damnable signs, I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs, "Don't you know what the hell you're doing? Don't you know what he'll do to this country?"
It's not even about politics anymore is it? It's about something else. Something much bigger. I know that you know what I mean. And I also know that some of you feel this same way.
In short, I'm getting worried. I am a professional optimist. It's what drives me, what makes me wake up happy in the morning. I wouldn't go back and change one single part of my life no matter how unpleasant it may have been at the time, because I have truly come to believe that everything has worked out for the best, just the way it was supposed to work out. If one door slammed shut in my face, then I had to go out and find another door, and it took me somewhere new, some place I had never intended to go, and it turned out to be a blessing, a 'blessing in disguise'.
But this time, this time I can feel my optimism slipping. If this great door slams shut in all of our faces, I don't know if we'll ever be able find another door. Can I somehow convince myself that Barack Hussein Obama is a 'blessing in disguise'? Can I convince myself that it would be impossible for one man, one errant president, to lead a whole country down the path to political and cultural ruin? Can I find solace in the thought that there is just no possibility that we here in America could ever go the route of Britain, or be swallowed in the terrible embrace of some monstrous octopus of an internationist EU? Can I console myself with the sheer absurdity of the thought that we could actually lose our sovereignty or our fundamental Judeo/Christian heritage because of one stupid mistake, one irrational move, one botched election? The answer isn't simple, is it? And it's getting more complicated every day.
One of you, I can't remember who now, wondered in your comments if this was the way some of the Germans might have felt about living through the seeming inevitability of the rise of Adolf Hitler, that feeling of being helpless in the face of an overwhelming historical movement? It was a damn good question.
Then again, perhaps I'm just giving in to my natural sense of melodrama. Perhaps I've just allowed myself to get too damned involved in all this political stuff. Nobody else around here seems all that upset. None of my friends. None of my neighbors. Certainly none of those people who put up all those little Obama yard signs, they don't look too upset about things. They're smiling and happy and they're proud of their signs. Proud of their magnanimity and their obvious lack of prejudice. Their little blue signs proclaim their goodness and righteousness to the world and they are perfectly content; they are, after all, on the right side of an overwhelming historical movement.
Have I been rambling? Or have I made sense? I don't even know. - rg