Sunday, July 20, 2008

The Good Son

Mom and Dad are going through some hard times these days. So, it occurred to me to take this opportunity to say a few words on their behalf.

Now, I love you Mom and Dad, and I appreciate all that you've done for me. You've nurtured me and protected me and you've taught me many things. One of the most important things you've taught me is the necessity of being honest. No matter how difficult it may be we must always look at things honestly. And it's in that spirit that I'm making these remarks.

You're going through some tough times right now -- but, Mom and Dad, I have to say this -- most of the difficulties you find yourselves facing today are of your own making. You've been successful in life and have accumulated many things. Things which a lot of our neighbors would love to have, but don't. But rather than being respectful of their feelings, you've purposely flaunted your wealth in their faces. Then you wonder why they don't like you. Instead of trying to think of ways that you could perhaps make their lives a little better, you just keep on accumulating more and more things. In short, you've been very selfish.

And Dad, I hate to say this, but the manner in which you've built up your little empire here was not always above board, was it? If fact, I think it would be fair to say that you've cheated a lot of people who were supposed to be your friends. It seems to me that all you've ever cared about was lining your own pockets, and to hell with the other guy.

Now, I know I've benefited from this largess, but I don't feel too good about that. In fact, I feel pretty ashamed of it all. That's why I've been siding more and more with those poor people whom you've victimized. I feel it's never too late to make amends, and I'm willing to do my part to make things right. You've had it your way for a long time now. But now things are changing.

And now to you, Mom. You know how much I love you, Mom, but you also know that you've made some pretty big mistakes in your life. You've been blessed with many things. You've lived a life of luxury and privilege. But you've also been thoughtlessly ostentatious and insensitive to other people's feelings. You have, I hate to say it, rubbed your good fortune in their faces. While some of our less fortunate friends and neighbors were worrying about whether or not they would have enough food on the table for dinner that night, you've pranced around town with your fine clothes and expensive furs; then you wonder why they dislike you. And although I certainly won't go into all the gory details, you have to admit that there have been many times in your pampered life when your actions have been, shall we say, somewhat outrageous and provocative. Then you wonder why our friends and neighbors question your morality.

So, there you have it, folks.

I consider myself a good son, and that's why I've had to say these things to you, even though they may be unpleasant. I love you and I care about you, but you're never going to get out of your present difficulties until you face the truth about yourselves. Mom and Dad, you've been selfish and self-centered, dishonest and immoral. You've never considered other people's feelings, only your own. And now, all these people, these good neighbors of ours, who should have been our best friends, have grown to despise you. And, I must say, I'm beginning to understand their feelings.

There are some people out there, I'm sure, who think that by my talking this way about my own Mom and Dad I'm somehow being disloyal. That couldn't be further from the truth. I love them and I care about them deeply; I care enough about them to tell them the truth. Because, until they can face the truth about themselves their troubles will only increase and multiply.

Here's wishing you all the best, Mom and Dad,
The Good Son.


  1. Dear Son;

    You have it wrong but that was our doing. While you claim that your father cheated his friends, you don't know all the facts. Your father is an honest man. What you call cheating, the rest of the world calls business. Never once did he willingly hurt a friend (they wouldn't have remained his friends if he did). You need to go into the business world and learn these things for yourself.

    As for myself. You complain that I prance about wearing expensive clothes and furs. I do, but it was your father's hard work that put those clothes and furs on my back. And you question my morality. HOW DARE YOU! I have been a faithful and loving wife to your father. Never once have I or your father ever strayed from each other's love. We don't need to! We took vows to each other a long time ago and have never broken them.

    As for our neighbors. You associate yourself with them. They are lazy bums. They don't want to work so they go hungry. In this world you need to work to have food, shelter and clothing for yourself and your family. You benefited from a loving father and mother who worked hard to give you a good future. Our neighbors have done none of that. They expect and demand the government to give them what they want: Food, Clothes, Medicines, etc... They cry that once we hurt them so they should get a free handout. Not in this world.

    You my dear son are going to learn a lot about the real world in the very near future. I've discussed this letter with your father and we have both decided that your college education is too expensive for us to continue funding. As of this day, we your loving parents will NOT PAY FOR YOUR COLLEGE ANY LONGER!

    I suggest that you either get a job. You will find out very soon that it is very expensive to live in today's world. Or you can do what our lazy bum neighbors do and go on welfare. If you can get on it.

    Your father and I love you very much, but we just can't afford you or your ideas about us.

    With Love;


    I just couldn't help myself Roger. It begged a Mother's reply.

  2. Findalis -- I'm so glad you couldn't help yourself. That's EXACTLY what it needed. An angry mother's reply to a spoiled self-righteous ingrate. Loved it. Thank you. rg

  3. My Dear Roger and Findalis/Mother and Son -

    You have done more here than perhaps you realize. Brilliant!



  4. Thank you Charlie very much.
    And to Findalis -- I'm afraid you're not quite old enough yet to have a 71 year old son, but thanks for temporarily adopting me. lol rg

  5. Don't you know Roger that every Jewish woman becomes a Jewish Mother to every man.

  6. Well Findalis and Churchill's Parrot -- It seems that some people on our side of the fence didn't appreciate my analogy as much as you did. lol

    They seem pretty confused about whether it was supposed to be an analogy about patriotism or just smoe nasty kid's letter. Sometimes it seems in my satirical pieces I'm not as clear as I should be. But, then again, when they crossposted the piece they left off that final picture of the kid stomping on the American flag -- which was really pretty important to the whole thing.

    That was the second of two pieces I wrote recently on the disloyal left. The first "The Treacherous Patriot" dealt with their actions. "The Good Son" deals with their self-justifications.

    It does seem as though everyone here "got it" though, didn't you?

    Maybe our readers are just a wee bit smarter than Hannity's. lolol

  7. The readers at Hannity must not understand satire. When I read the piece I immediately saw the satire in it and responded in kind. Maybe you should put up my "Mother's" response to it and then see what happens.

    It would be interesting.