Would Jew Believe This? The Story Of Passover.

By Findalis
Monkey in the Middle

For my regular readers:

I have been in the hospital for the last 5 days, missed the first Seder night, and haven't been able to post in all that time.  So I'm posting these old posts for the holiday of Passover.

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A young boy returned home from Hebrew school, washed his hands and sat down to dinner.

His father asked him what he learned that day in school.

The boy replied that the Rabbi told his class the most amazing story of how the Jews were rescued from the Land of Egypt and brought to the Land of Israel.

His father smiled and asked his son to relate the story the Rabbi told them.

"Sure Dad," the boy said.  "Now this story happened a long time ago, before the time of CNN.  Before the time of computers, and cell phones.  Before even TV.  I think it was in the 1920s or so it happened.

"Egypt was ruled by this guy named Pharaoh.  I think it means "Nasty Egyptian". And we Jews were his slaves. We didn't like being slaves and prayed to G-d to set us free. G-d heard our prayers and sent us a miracle.

"G-d  sent the IDF back in time to rescue the Children of Israel (I think they rescued the parents too.).  The Commandos diverted the Egyptian Army while the Children and their parents fled to the Red Sea (It was red because G-d turned the water to blood like in Zombie Killers 3.).  There the IDF built Pontoon bridges across the Red Sea for the people to go across.  When the Egypt Army tried to follow, the IDF blew up the bridges.

"Then this guy named Moshe Dayan (He is the head of the IDF, I think. Rabbi said he was G-d's greatest profits.) lead the Children of Israel (and their parents) to Mount Sinai where Moshe lays down the law, destroys the Golden Calf and leads them to Israel.

"But it took them 40 years because nobody had a GPS and Moshe would not ask for directions."

His father had a look upon his face that was a cross between total astonishment and WTF.  "Is this what the Rabbi taught you?"

"No Dad,"  the boy said.  "But you wouldn't believe the crazy story he did tell."

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Actually I'm not sure that is not the correct story.  It could be giving that a certain Time Lord, his TARDIS and a few units of the IDF could have pulled it off.

But perhaps G-d did it this way:

From Chabad

After many decades of slavery to the Egyptian pharaohs, during which time the Israelites were subjected to backbreaking labor and unbearable horrors, G‑d saw the people's distress and sent Moses to Pharaoh with a message: "Send forth My people, so that they may serve Me." But despite numerous warnings, Pharaoh refused to heed G‑d's command. G‑d then sent upon Egypt ten devastating plagues, afflicting them and destroying everything from their livestock to their crops.

At the stroke of midnight of 15 Nissan in the year 2448 from creation (1313 BCE), G‑d visited the last of the ten plagues on the Egyptians, killing all their firstborn. While doing so, G‑d spared the Children of Israel, "passing over" their homes-hence the name of the holiday. Pharaoh's resistance was broken, and he virtually chased his former slaves out of the land. The Israelites left in such a hurry, in fact, that the bread they baked as provisions for the way did not have time to rise. Six hundred thousand adult males, plus many more women and children, left Egypt on that day, and began the trek to Mount Sinai and their birth as G‑d's chosen people.

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Or maybe not.  Any way that G-d performed the miracle of the Passover was the correct story. 

IDF Cancelling All Passover Leaves

By Findalis
Monkey in the Middle


Some thing's up.  Chief of Staff Benny Gantz has done something that hasn't been done in many years.  He has cancelled ALL leaves for Passover.

Chief of Staff Benny Gantz has ordered all IDF units to cancel their traditional Passover breaks so that they can operate in full capacity over the upcoming holiday, Yedioth Ahronoth reported Wednesday.

The implication of the decision is that for the first time in many years, all IDF units will maintain their regular operations and remain on full alert throughout the holiday.

As result of the unexpected decision, thousands of soldiers at various IDF headquarters and bases will have to report for duty as usual in order to allow their units to operate with no interruption.

IDF officials dismissed suggestions that the decision is related to operational circumstances or preparations for military maneuvers. The army said Chief of Staff Gantz made the call after asserting that he does not accept the notion of an army-wide Passover vacation.

However, IDF soldiers who received the news Tuesday could not be convinced that the timing of the decision was arbitrary.

Notably, German Defense Minister Thomas de Maiziere on Tuesday said that after meeting Israeli counterpart Ehud Barak, he was more concerned about the possibility of an Israeli strike on Iran.

Over the years, an army-wide break during Passover became a tradition followed by all major military units, including the Air Force, Navy and intelligence corps. The IDF's headquarters in Tel Aviv is also traditionally deserted during the holiday.

But as noted, the longtime tradition will be broken this year, as soldiers will have to divide their vacation days among themselves in order to ensure that their units maintain their full capacity to operate if needed.

Source

Every military man will tell you that if you want rumors to run rampant you cancel all leaves.  I could speculate for hours on this but I won't.  I'll let you, my truth seekers to put 2+2 together.  I hope it equals 4.

The Water Turns To Blood

For those people looking to signs from Heaven pointing to an upcoming Apocalypse, this might point the way.

Beirut River Mysteriously Runs Blood Red

BEIRUT: The Beirut River mysteriously turned blood red Wednesday after a stream of unidentified red liquid began pouring from the southern bank of the river in Furn al-Shubbak. The source of the liquid had yet to be determined Wednesday evening, as the river continued to empty the red-colored water into the Mediterranean Sea.

Government and local officials rushed to the scene at the Chevrolet crossing of Furn al-Shubbak Wednesday morning in an attempt to locate the sewage canal that was dumping the red-colored water but they were unable to locate the source. Accusations were traded among officials from the municipalities of Hadath, Hazmieh, Sin al-Fil, Furn al-Shubbak and Shiyah.

Eyewitnesses working in the area told The Daily Star this was not the first time the river had turned a different color. Several business owners around the Chevrolet crossing said that colored water pours into the river roughly every two months but no one pays attention to it.It was the quantity and brightness of the red liquid that grabbed the attention of many passersby and commuters on different bridges in the city Wednesday.

Environment Minister Nazem Khoury said the source of the water was likely from Hazmieh or Baabda.

“I call on the municipalities of Hazmieh and Baabda to cooperate swiftly to find the source of the pollution and its type,” Khoury said in a statement.

Earlier in the day, Khoury sent an environmental team to the area to examine the water. The team, headed by ministry official Bassam Sabbagh, took a sample of the water to determine its composition and whether it contained dangerous pollutants.

The samples will be examined Thursday because state laboratories were already closed by the time the sample was taken. “The sample we took will be examined tomorrow [Thursday] morning ... and we will know whether it is blood being mixed with water or if it is some sort of a color dumped in it,” said Sabbagh.

A similar incident took place in the Chinese Jian River last December after a factory illegally dumped red dye into the river, which is located in the northern Chinese province of Henan.

Some cities use non-toxic dyes to color rivers on special occasions. In Chicago, the river is dyed green every year in the celebration of St. Patrick’s Day.

According to Sabbagh, test results will help the ministry determine whether the substance is a chemical pollutant or blood from a nearby slaughterhouse.

“First we thought it was blood, but it seems like it is a kind of coloring dumped by a factory,” said Sabbagh, who also said that the test to determine the type of the chemical would take a week.

Sabbagh said the municipality and other ministries should help the Environment Ministry in its investigation. “We need the help of the local officials to have a clear idea of the sewage network in the region,” he said.

According to Sabbagh, who heads the ministry’s Environmental Pollution Control Office, maps of the sewage network would help officials locate the source of the red-colored water.

“After finding the source, it would be a matter of hours to get to the factory and the area where the [colored] water is originating,” said Sabbagh adding that swift action would be taken against those responsible for it.

Saad Elias, an adviser to the environment minister, did not rule out the possibility that a slaughterhouse could be behind the red color.

“After going through several phases of butchering at the slaughterhouses, they store huge amounts of blood and animal parts in containers ... they might have dumped them into a sewage canal,” said Elias.

“The ministry will definitely investigate this matter because our role is to prevent pollution,” he added.

Meanwhile, local officials in the area suggested that a paint factory could be responsible for the incident. “There are several paint factories in Hadath,” said an official from the Shiyah municipality.

As officials tried to determine the source and the nature of the substance in the river, the Beirut prosecutor assigned the Internal Security Forces to launch an investigation into the matter.

Source

The Lebanese should prepare for the next 2 plagues:  Frogs and Lice.  And they should discover fast what the Jews want from them.  And then give it to them.

By Findalis of Monkey in the Middle

Would Jew Believe This?

By Findalis of Monkey in the Middle

A young boy returned home from Hebrew school, washed his hands and sat down to dinner.

His father asked him what he learned that day in school.

The boy replied that the Rabbi told his class the most amazing story of how the Jews were rescued from the Land of Egypt and brought to the Land of Israel.

His father smiled and asked his son to relate the story the Rabbi told them.

"Sure Dad," the boy said.  "Now this story happened a long time ago, before the time of CNN.  Before the time of computers, and cell phones.  Before even TV.  I think it was in the 1920s or so it happened.

"Egypt was ruled by this guy named Pharaoh.  I think it means "Nasty Egyptian". And we Jews were his slaves. We didn't like being slaves and prayed to G-d to set us free. G-d heard our prayers and sent us a miracle.

"G-d  sent the IDF back in time to rescue the Children of Israel (I think they rescued the parents too.).  The Commandos diverted the Egyptian Army while the Children and their parents fled to the Red Sea (It was red because G-d turned the water to blood like in Zombie Killers 3.).  There the IDF built Pontoon bridges across the Red Sea for the people to go across.  When the Egypt Army tried to follow, the IDF blew up the bridges.

"Then this guy named Moshe Dayan (He is the head of the IDF, I think. Rabbi said he was G-d's greatest profits.) lead the Children of Israel (and their parents) to Mount Sinai where Moshe lays down the law, destroys the Golden Calf and leads them to Israel.

"But it took them 40 years because nobody had a GPS and Moshe would not ask for directions."

His father had a look upon his face that was a cross between total astonishment and WTF.  "Is this what the Rabbi taught you?"

"No Dad,"  the boy said.  "But you wouldn't believe the crazy story he did tell."

Here is that crazy story:

From Chabad

After many decades of slavery to the Egyptian pharaohs, during which time the Israelites were subjected to backbreaking labor and unbearable horrors, G‑d saw the people's distress and sent Moses to Pharaoh with a message: "Send forth My people, so that they may serve Me." But despite numerous warnings, Pharaoh refused to heed G‑d's command. G‑d then sent upon Egypt ten devastating plagues, afflicting them and destroying everything from their livestock to their crops.

At the stroke of midnight of 15 Nissan in the year 2448 from creation (1313 BCE), G‑d visited the last of the ten plagues on the Egyptians, killing all their firstborn. While doing so, G‑d spared the Children of Israel, "passing over" their homes-hence the name of the holiday. Pharaoh's resistance was broken, and he virtually chased his former slaves out of the land. The Israelites left in such a hurry, in fact, that the bread they baked as provisions for the way did not have time to rise. Six hundred thousand adult males, plus many more women and children, left Egypt on that day, and began the trek to Mount Sinai and their birth as G‑d's chosen people.

 

This video tells the story very well too:

Happy Passover!