The Tome Of Health

By Findalis of Monkey in the Middle


Book of Obama: Chapter 8

In the time of heat when tempers run thin, He came down from on high with His plan to solve the crises of health.

Like Moses of old, He stood upon the mountain top with the Tome of Health and said:
"I bring unto you the cure for all. Do not read it, just pass it. I command thee to do!"

The multitude of the land looked upon Him and His Tome of Health and whispered:

No we won't.

The Anointed One was not dismayed. He turned to Pelosi the Loud and Reid the Tired told them to gather the troops and force the multitude to love His plan.

So they went forth, the Democrats armed with the Sword of Union and the Shield of Acorn. They went forth to do battle with the multitudes who sat down and read the Tome of Health.

And the multitude cried:

No we won't!

This started to dismay the Democrats and they cried out to The One: "Oh Great Leader, Anointed One, help us along! For no longer is our shield and sword working. At meetings of towns and villages they are not effective. The more we call the multitude names, the louder their cries become.

They have read the Tome of Health and do not like what they have read. A single payer, public option is not what they want or desire. Yet it is Your wish, Anointed One, and Thy will be done. Though it will cost us the election in 2010.

And the multitude screamed:

No We Won't!

The Anointed One let out a sigh. "I will see to it. I will attend the towns in Hampshire the New and in the Mountains of Montana. There I will convince the multitude to accept the Tome of Health."

And there was great rejoicing amongst the Democrats.

He took up the Sword of Union and Shield of Acorn and journeyed to Hampshire the New. With His loyal follower comprising of the congregation He presented The Tome. All was working according to plan, even the young child's question brought the press to His side.

Off to the Mountains of Montana, His stride was upbeat, then came the cries of fowl for the multitude had discovered the child who spoke her question was a weed. The child's mother worked for Him, wrote out her question too. All His hard work was not going to help at all. The Sword of Union was dull and rusty. The Shield of Acorn was corrupt and coming apart at the seams.

Outside the hall the multitude was screaming:

No We Won't!

He went on to the Vineyard of Martha with His wife and two children. A happy vacation was not on the menu. All through the heat of the Summer in villages and towns, the multitude fought hard and the Democrats were on the run.

Just when things looked bleak, His Presidency a failure, a miracle occurred. Teddy the Lecher, of Camelot fame, the author of the Tome, died and became the rallying cry of them all.

For Teddy we will do it! Pelosi the Loud proclaimed. We will ram it through the Congress, and call it by his name. Teddy's bill it is now called. Soon to become law. For the Lecher they will do it, and disregard the multitude once and for all.

This will save My Presidency! The Anointed One exclaimed. Let Us exalt our dear Teddy who has saved the day.

Through out the land a rumbling was heard. From the cities, towns and villages it was felt by all.

Who cares what the multitude thinks cried the Democrats. We have the votes, the will and Teddy's Bill will pass. What can you do? You are nothing but a voice. You have no power. This is our choice.

But the rumbling did not die. For the multitude had become a great voice. They stood on the mountain tops and in a loud voice:

There is much we can do. We are not alone. We have a great voice. You have won this battle, but the war is not lost. We will organize, become stronger. Then you will have to listen to our voice.

The Democrats just laughed. You are racists, and bores. We have The Anointed One leading us, He has given us Hope and Change. You have nothing at all.

But the multitude had seen the signs. His approval ratings were dropping, they knew He couldn't last. With a loud voice they screamed so the whole world would hear:

YES WE CAN!
JUST WAIT UNTIL NOVEMBER 2010!!!